Hello lovelies, hope all is well.
Break ups can be difficult for everybody. You’ve been with that someone special for a very long time and then all of a sudden what you once had with that particular person is tossed out the window. It can be even more difficult when you’ve been friends with the person before you even decided to start a relationship with that person and coming to terms with potentially losing a friend as well as a break up can be just as difficult.
I am no expert when it comes to relationships, I have no qualifications. But what I do have is experience and a shoulder to cry on. I’ve learnt from my mistakes and hope to carry these lessons on with me the next time I find my heart throbbing from loss.
So today I am giving a few tips about things you should and shouldn’t do once your relationship has terminated. I hope that some of these tips will help you feel better and let me assure you that you are not alone in this situation, there are so many others who have gone through the exact same thing.
6 things you should do after a break up
Relationships are not like clockwork. Not every relationship is the same. Not every relationship ends amicably and not everybody wants to be a friends once the relationship has ended. The one thing that most relationships have in common is that things can be tough following a break up. It may not take its toll immediately, sooner or later you’re very likely to find yourself feeling sad about what has ended.
The key thing to focus on is moving on and making yourself feel better. You should be your main priority at this very fragile time. Hopefully some of these tips will be a stepping stone in the right direction.
1. Don’t yell, beg or plead
The end of a relationship is tough for a lot of people and it can make people upset, angry and reactive. You may behave slightly abnormally because of your anger and sadness. I like to think of this as a switch in our brains that turns on as soon as a break up occurs. Although it’s difficult, we must try to refrain from yelling, begging or pleading with our exes. It is the reaction your ex will expect from you and it will make you appear weak. You need to take some time for yourself to cool off as shouting, begging and pleading are just going to do more harm than good.
2. Stay out of contact with your ex for a period of at least 30 days
This coping mechanism has to be one of the best in my opinion. The quote “out of sight, out of mind” really comes to mind when I think about it. Staying out of contact for a while is really a great idea when you break up with somebody. It gives you time to focus on yourself and not act irrationally as soon as the relationship ends. From personal experience, I found that it really helped me to acknowledge how I was feeling and just let it float in my mind rather than get angry about it.
With social media having a significant presence in the lives of millennials, it can be hard to stay out of contact with their ex. But there’s messenger tools that can block them from messaging you or block them from appearing online. If you find yourself heading to their Facebook profile slightly too often, it might be time to consider unfriending or blocking them. Remember the aim is to move on and get over them, not to dwell on the past.
If your ex is a vicious, horrible person you are probably better off without them and should stay out of contact with them permanently. However, if you want to be friends again, you can begin by writing them an amicable message just as long as you’re feeling better than you did originally following the break up.
3. Do something for yourself
As I stated earlier in this post, you should be your top priority following a break up and I would highly recommend doing something for yourself. Start a new hobby, buy a swanky new outfit or change your look completely with a brand new hair style. Whatever you choose to do, it is bound to put a smile on your face and give you that much needed lift.
4. Start seeing new people
Seeing people straight away isn’t the brightest of ideas. We all know that those rebound relationships will finish as quickly as they begin. It’s a pretty common method people use to ‘try to get over their ex’ and can sometimes result in them feeling even worse once that rebound fails.
However, once you’re starting to feel a bit better about the whole break up, seeing new people is something you should begin to consider. You want to go into something new with confidence rather than concern so it is important that you begin to see new people when you start to make a turnaround about this whole break up. You know that feeling you get when you begin to regret breaking up and want to get back together with your ex? That doesn’t necessarily mean you’re still in love with your ex, it just means that you crave love which is something you associate with your ex because you used to love them. So join a new club or do something that’ll get you out and meeting new people. Eventually, luck will be on your side and you won’t even think about your ex when you hear the word “love”.
5. Take a break
Traveling is one of my passions, I absolutely adore it. Taking a break somewhere always has me returning content and refreshed. Straight after a break up is a perfect time to go away and forget about your problems for a little while. You can deal with them later. You don’t even need to go abroad to take a break, there are probably dozens of nice places a short drive away from you. The world is your oyster.
6. Try to see the positives in your life
So your relationship has ended and that is pretty shitty. Just remember that there is so much more in your life that you have to be grateful for. Try making a list of reasons why you deserve to be happy and it’ll change your perspective. You’ll see things on a larger scale and realise that you still have plenty of fruitful things in your life such as your youth, health, friends and family.
Most of us have been in a similar situation in the past and are probably familiar with the way you are feeling. Remember that the pain won’t last forever and in time, you’ll forget why you were moping about all the time. It may take a couple of weeks or a few months, just trust me, you’ll get there.
If you ever need someone to talk to about this stuff, I am always available through twitter or through my blog’s email which is left on the side bar.
I really hope that this post helps some of you that may be going through this. This is just another challenge that will be conquered.